Winds of War: Muslims Attack the Purveyor of Love

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you send me a Valentines’ card
I’ll sue

The ever-tolerant Muslim world is condemning Valentine’s Day. Kuwaiti lawmakers are looking to amend the country's legislation to prevent the celebration of Valentine's Day.

"We are now studying the necessary amendments that would ban celebrations contradicting Sharia (Islamic Law)," said parliamentarian Jamaan al-Hirbish, part of panel examining "alien phenomena" being embraced by Kuwaitis.

Alien phenomena? What’s next? Banning Bigfoot?

Despite its Western origins, Valentine's Day appears to have been embraced by Kuwaitis and red balloons can be found all over restaurants, flower shops and stores selling chocolates. Newspapers are filled with advertisements for jewelry and cakes in the shape of hearts.

A public show of affection? By Muslims? Oh, no, we can have that! Meanwhile in Saudi Arabia, Saudis are seeing red in the sale of roses. Protests against Valentine's Day celebrations are building up in the Gulf region with the Saudi Arabian moral police banning the sale of red roses.

Thawabet Al Umma, while condemning the Feb 14 celebration, has warned the media against misguiding Muslims “by glorifying such pagan celebrations”, according to a report in the Arab Times website.

“Such traditions are imported from the West, and people blindly follow them without looking into the good and bad aspects. Participating in such celebrations will tarnish the image of Islam,” it said in a statement.

Oh, God forbid that Muslims should show a little love towards each other.

“Valentine's Day corrupts and misguides the youths. The information ministers of all Muslim countries have the responsibility to ensure that this culture does not take root in their countries, as it can lead societies back to the pre-Islamic days of ignorance,” it was quoted as saying.

I won’t comment on the ignorance part. Use your opinion on who is more ignorant.

Earlier, the Saudi Gazette had reported that the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice had visited flower and gift shops in Riyadh last weekend and instructed them to remove all red items - from red roses and wrapping paper to boxes and teddy bears - from their shelves.

Damn!! It’s those teddy bears again! They must be stopped! They’re tarnishing the image of Islam and leading Muslims back to the pre-Islamic days of ignorance!

Sunday was the last day people could buy red roses in the conservative Islamic nation.

According to the report, every year, commission agents visit flower shops a couple of days before Feb 14 to issue warnings.

On the eve of Valentine's Day, they start their raids and confiscate any red items that are symbols of love, florists here said.

However, with the ban being imposed, black market prices of red roses have shot up.

Ah, wonderful capitalism.

“A single rose costs around 5-7 Saudi riyals (SR) but today the same rose costs SR10 a piece and the price will go up to SR20-30 on Valentine's Day,” another florist told the newspaper.

Stating that loyal customers place orders days and sometimes weeks before February 14, the florist said: “Sometimes we deliver the bouquets in the middle of the night or early morning, to avoid suspicion.”

Pssst. Hey buddy? Wanna buy a rose?

Meanwhile, in Kashmir….

A Kashmiri Islamic women's group Thursday raided restaurants to prevent young Muslim couples from meeting on Valentine's Day, an event it denounced by as "anti-Islamic."

"We have formed a number of squads to educate young couples that Valentine's Day is a Western conspiracy to involve Muslims in vulgar activities," said Nahida, a member of Dukhtaran-e-Millat, or Daughters of Faith, as she took part in a swoop on a restaurant in Srinagar.

The women's group, all covered from head-to-toe, did not encounter any resistance as couples patiently listened to them and left restaurants.

And in ‘moderate’ Indonesia…

Indonesia's highest Islamic council has declared Valentine's Day celebrations illegal, while a ban was issued by authorities in West Sumatra province on observances of the holiday in hotels and restaurants, local media reports said Thursday.

Ma'ruf Amien, chairman of the Indonesian Council of Ulemas (MUI), warned the country's Muslims the celebration of Valentine's Day is 'haram,' or prohibited by Islam.

Amien, who is also head of the council's commission of edicts, said the romantic holiday encouraged drunkenness and other types of immorality.

As for you infidels – spread a little love around today. Happy Valentine's Day!

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